Tinker Art: Tinking About Stuff

This past week, Melba's topic for Mixed Media Memoirs was "I want to burn this page..." At first, I really resisted this challenge. I like to stay on the light side whenever I can, there is already so much darkness in the world. I've been fortunate compared to so many other people; the long, dark nights in my life, have been mostly of my own making. When I look closely I can see they were just me, making shadow-puppets on the wall. Of course, these are a lot of the pages I'd like to burn, but they're a part of my history now, part of where I've been; and they help to remind me of the places I'd rather not visit again! Been there, done that - no, thank you!

Then I saw this photo from yesterday's art show. I started to put it in yesterday's post about the Artist Dates, then chickened out - thinking how I should "Photoshop' it (I use this term loosely, since I don't actually have Photoshop, but some freebie photo-editing thingy); not wanting all of you to see my imperfections...the scars from the past 2 years (aka the Years That Tried to Kill Me, or were they just trying to knock some sense into my head? but instead, just left me cock-eyed and forgetful); my witchy mole; the serious need for a haircut - a hairstyle; the crooked lipstick, the eyebrows! how I smile with too tight lips, for fear of showing my on-going dental problems; my too-wrinkled-too-soon look; the greying of Tinker....Until now, I thought I was ok in my own skin. Yeah, receding chins and overbites are charming; I'm not fat, I'm fluffy! Pleasingly plump! I'm only as old as I feel!

Balderdash!

Then I pondered how I started this series of paintings of little pieces of my hometown, trying to capture the flavor of the last bits of mom-and-pop businesses, cool old buildings, trees, areas that are disappearing rapidly to make way for the slick, plastic sameness of every other urban-suburbia McBurgerMartville of Californication. Making your choices, your experiences, in every town - the same. How in some ways this is similar to Madison Avenue 's Photo-shopped/airbrushed fantasy women making us all feel more than a little, less-than-perfect. Encouraging us to all fit into their perfect cookie-cutter molded shapes, and if you can't well, try this new cover-up, that new foundation, hair color, miracle wrinkle-remover, wonder-diet aid...and if all else fails, there's always plastic surgery!

This search for perfection that we seem to all be caught up in, is just gilding the lilies...when really it's often the little imperfections and quirks that define a person, a place, a thing; that add interest; that define them. Would I have loved my Papa any more if he'd gotten hair implants, instead of polishing his bald pate with his hankerchief? Would my Nanny have been so huggable, if she'd gotten liposuction, a face-lift?

So this is me; with my little imperfect painting of an imperfect but interesting place, trying to capture an almost perfect moment in time. So I'm biting the bullet, taking a deep breath, and setting it out here. Yeah, I'd like to burn it; but knowing me, I'd just end up setting the computer on fire!

So here's my virtual burning of it for Mixed Media Memoirs...

Here's my dilemma, my fear of hypocrisy...if being comfortable in your own skin is the ideal, then why bother with the mascara and the lipstick, the cover-up that never covers up effectively, anyway? Where do you draw the line between maintenance, beautifying the landscape, and extreme makeover? I'd like to age gracefully, but Grace has never been my middle name...for now, I'll just stumble along in my middle-aged delusions of eternal youth. Just cover the mirrors, and whatever you do, don't show me the pictures.

Comments

"Where do you draw the line" Oh, I love that. I submitted the topic "lines" for Illustration Friday a few months ago, but it has never been picked. I am fascinated by the idea of "lines" Sheryl Crow sings in Leaving Las Vegas, "there is such a muddy line between the things we want and the things we have to do" My mind is going faster than I can hunt and peck since I don't really know how to type. It is all interesting to me. People just honestly fascinate me how we are all different yet all the same. Based on our experiences, personality, particular time in our life...we are influenced by it all and that will effect the line in any situation for each of us. I wear mascara and lipstick, earings and something in my hair everyday because when I walk past the mirror I see me. That phrase always plays in my head, "I see me, I see me" when I am unmotivated to get dressed... seriously the only people who see me somedays are Ethan and Maggie. But when I remember, "I see me" then I do it for me because I like me wearing those things...
My rambling is done I think. Thanks for posting... you gave me a smile. Oh, and don't ever, ever feel like you are late with MMM. No pressure. Just fun...in a deep, serious, depressing kind of way at times...but creating art is always fun, right?

Posted by: melba | March 12, 2006 at 08:59 PM

Just my thoughts....

You draw the line, I think, where it starts to feel like betraying yourself for others, instead of pleasing yourself. Some people like no makeup at all; some people enjoy a lot of makeup; most fall in between. Comfortable in our own skin or not, we still wear clothes - for comfort, protection from the cold, and to conform for others' sake. The question is merely - where do your motivations lie in doing it, and how do you feel about that? Are you "denying" reality, or are you just saying, "Yes, that is reality, but I like how my face looks with this makeup on."

Are you denying yourself? Or are you only presenting your best side, and having a chance to play with something not unlike paint?

(Me, I avoid almost all makeup, but that's because I'm fairly incompetent with it and my allergies render it a dangerous hobby anyway. There's nothing like covering up a small mole with...a large red allergic rash. Hee.)

As I said, just my thoughts; yours may vary (and good luck figuring out where to settle on them). You look nice in that photo - I love your hair - so bright and light and soft looking.

Posted by: Laura | March 12, 2006 at 09:21 PM